City of Dreams

On December 3-5th last year, 2009, I went to the conference in downtown Seattle.  The conference was all about learning how to become an entrepreneur and running small businesses.  After being completely overwhelmed because of the intensity of the event; on the third night rather than doing my "homework" like a good girl, and sticking around with the crowd, I headed outside and into the streets of downtown Seattle.  It was a cold brisk night, but the breeze felt good, as I meandered aimlessly, looking for a bite to eat.  

Downtown Seattle

After circling several blocks, I came to a small sign that said, "Vietnamese Food" and it pointed down a set of stairs.  Taking a deep breath, I thought to myself, "Well I'll just go down and check this place out.  If I like the energy and environment cool; if I don't, I'll move on."

A statue of the Ancient Eastern Goddess, Quan Yin, greeted me at the bottom of the stairs, and the pictures of the menu items that aligned the wall actually looked fantastic.  And let's be honest…that is very rare! 

As I walked into the restaurant, soft Asian music was playing ever so gently in the background and there were only two other people there. 

"Perfect," I thought, “I'll be able to have a quiet evening to myself.” 

The host greeted me with a quaint smile, respect and gentle manor; I love this about the Asian culture.  Immediately, it was like I was transported back to Southeast Asia.  And the memories of my travels to this part of the World began to spring up from within; flooding my mind.  

While in this deep gaze, the waiter looked at me and asked if I would like anything to drink.  I stumbled back to consciousness, as my energy had temporarily gone to the other side of the World, "Um, yes, yes," I replied, "I would like a cup of hot tea and a glass of water, please." 

As the waiter walked away from my table; I leaned back in my chair and scenes of floating down the Mekong River in a slow boat began playing in my mind, as if I was watching an old film strip. As the film strip continued; strong feelings of being connected with the deepest parts of my Soul, while I was on that river started to come back.

Southeast Asia

In 2007, I took a 4-week backpacking trip through Northern Thailand and Laos.  At the time I was working as a Personal Trainer in Columbia, Maryland.  I was on a fast track to burnout with the schedule I was holding, the hours I was working and the energy that I was expending.  But I was doing what I thought was the "right thing to do."  I wanted to have money.  I wanted to have stuff.  I wanted to be "successful," which to me at the time meant work your ass off 24-7.  So this is what I was doing, and parts of it where serving me and parts were not. 

As I sat on this slow boat in August of 2007; floating down the Mekong River, perched on a board that was 6" wide with 100 lb rice bags at my feet; I was comfortably uncomfortable.  It probably would have been a little easier on my bum had I not rode an elephant bare back through the jungle the day before.  However, I had, and I had also learned a lesson. 

The lesson being this - small elephants have vertebrae the size of basketballs, yet sharply pointed on top.  And given three hours of sliding back and forth over basketball sized pointy vertebrae through the jungles of Northern Thailand; well, let's just say, I didn't think my ass would ever be the same again!

So my suggestion to other travelers desiring to ride elephants..........go ahead and ride on a wooden seat.  Your ass will be thankful!   

Back on the Boat

So in my state of comfortably, uncomfortable on the slow boat; I sat listening to sappy music and starring off into the green rolling hills of Northern Laos. After several hours of this trance like state; tears began to fill my eyes. 

Tears of joy; tears of gratitude; tears of longing for this experience; longing for these feelings of freedom and growth within my Soul; longing to slow down and breathe; longing to be present in the given moment. 

It had been four years, since I had traveled overseas.  And while keeping myself more than busy during those four years, and slamming every hour of my schedule with some kind of appointment.  I hadn't realized how deeply I had been missing this experience; this feeling; this freedom from within.  In this moment of profound realization and gratitude; I made a promise to myself, and that promise was to take an overseas trip every year for at least the next 5 years in a row. 

Back to Seattle

As the waiter brought over my cup of hot tea and glass of water, once again my eyes filled with tears; tears of gratitude; tears of frustration; tears of joy; tears of uncertainty. I was a wellspring of emotion on this cold December night in Seattle. 

I smiled at the waiter, thanked him and gave him my order.  When he walked away; I poured my tea into my little cup and began to sip gently the warm, soothing Asian black tea.  Once again, I leaned back in my chair, breathed deeply and thought to myself, "This is what life is all about."

Emotions began radiating through my body, like pulsating ocean waves against the sand.  The same feeling of calm freedom that came up from within me on the slow boat was now coming up from within me, as I sat in this little hole in the wall Vietnamese restaurant in downtown Seattle. 

In this moment, it felt as if time stopped and an Angel grabbed my shoulders from behind and said to me in a deep, calm voice, "This is who you are Tracy; accept it.  You are a Spiritual student and teacher, and this experience of growth and freedom within your Soul is what you crave. Accept it.  It is time.  And you are to go back to Asia and go to India, Nepal, Tibet, Vietnam and Indonesia next year, and then you are to go to Egypt the following year."

Once again, finding myself comfortably uncomfortable, a level of inner peace came over me like I had never experienced before.  This was my Truth, and although it was not what I expected to experience at this event.  It was the information that I received, and it struck my Soul like nothing had ever done before.

City of Dreams
So, here I am tonight on December 4, 2010 typing this post and starting my Blog back up. What a profound and magical year it has been!  And as I lay here typing; I’m back in Port Townsend, WA, which is known as The City of Dreams.  I am actually house sitting for a woman that I have never met... I love it!  The most amazing people live out here.  And I am planning my trip to Southeast Asia, India and Nepal.  I have no idea how all of this will come together.  But I know that I am going.  So when I return to Colorado; I am selling everything I own, buying a one-way ticket to the Orient, trusting the Universe for my provision and I'm traveling the World….. It is time!

And, so, I ask you this…. What do you need to accept about yourself?  What is your Truth? What is it that makes your heart and Soul overflow with joy?  What brings forth light into your life?   

For me it is looking into the eyes of the people as I travel the World.  It is sharing a smile with those that I pass by on the streets. It’s telling stories. It’s laughing. It’s holding another in my arms. It’s giving children hope. It’s spreading light and love. It’s adventure. It’s seeing and feeling a Soul connection with the Earth, the people, the animals and thyself.  It’s knowing, understanding and appreciating the inter connectedness of all that exists.     

 

xxoo
Tracy